Reflections
on a Decade in the Wild East
Chapter
One – Extract extended
Alexander Nevsky metro station in St Petersburg,
November 1998. It’s pitch black dark and around 9.30 am on a Tuesday morning.
I have just come back from a one-to-one lesson at
Philip Morris, the tobacco company, which began at 7.30am and ended at 9am, my
student driving me to and from the station in his company logo-emblazoned car.
I never had any problem spotting him. His car just
looked ridiculous among the mud-splattered Ladas whizzing around like
fairground dodgems, but Kostia always emerged from his vehicle as if the
incongruity had never occurred to him and he shook my hand. Among the things I
remember about our classes, other than he was very affable and a bit nervous
was that he smoked constantly, as with many tobacco company employees in Russia
at the time. Though I loathed having to teach at that hour of the day, the
office was nice and snug and you could freely fill up your coffee cup as you
could smoke. One of my colleagues gave the thumbs up to this, I remember,
puffing away at the gratis fags as she waited for her student to finish his
phone call. But as a non-smoker there was nothing in that for me.
My major gripe was that the lesson began at an
unearthly hour in the morning without sunlight and ended in the same
circumstances. It had been given to me by the school’s director of studies, who
had been Kostia’s teacher but wanted a lie-in now that I had arrived. She was someone
I never warmed to, for that reason and many others.
Returning to Alexander Nevsky station that winter
morning I see a group of young women, aged perhaps 18 or 19, drinking beer.
Baltika 7 is the brand and a very strong one it is too. The girls are all very
pretty and in high spirits, despite the fact that Russia is apparently in a
state of collapse. They are a world away from Philip Morris and its
chain-smoking, coffee drinking workaholics. It’s difficult to decide which is
the healthier lifestyle choice. But I am impressed by the casual demeanour of
these women, indifferent to the potential opinions of others, dimly viewing
their pre-sunrise beer swigging. They chat and laugh too, belying the image of
the morning drinker as some soaked, decrepit belligerent. I find the scene
alluring. Amid the economic devastation, and early-week blues they are having
fun when everyone else, including me, isn’t.
In Serbia 20 years later, I see the opposite. The
women are just as breathtakingly gorgeous, yet for most of them alcohol is
anathema, a tool of the elderly and lost in society, they say, yet many of
these girls are also out of work. Why else would they be in cafes at 10am on a
Tuesday morning sipping coffees and smoking cigarettes in Belgrade’s abundant
cafes?
They did it in militant fashion, in vast numbers.
When leisure descended upon them clusters of beauties nattered together, while
the male lusted fruitlessly at a distance. They even did it when men rioted.
When in July 2008 Radovan Karadzic was arrested by the Serbia’s Special Forces
to be sent to The Hague, there was a mass protest in the centre of Belgrade.
Stones were thrown at the riot police and they flew near the large windows
displaying the grand cafeteria at the Hotel Moskva on Terazije. As usual, the
coffee sippers and nicotine imbibers were out in force, and not uncommonly most
appeared to be women, yet none batted a prettified eyelid. The scene made me
trip over some rubble in consternation.
This was a true culture shock. Fags and coffee are
not downers. They are among the strongest emblems of stress in the contemporary
age. But your average Serbian woman appears to seek them as a refuge.
“They’re not”, you want to tell them. “They’ll make you tense.” “Perhaps, you should have a proper drink.”
But aside from a few excellent examples among Serbian womanhood, you’d be ignored. Put it down to the caffeine and tobacco.
“They’re not”, you want to tell them. “They’ll make you tense.” “Perhaps, you should have a proper drink.”
But aside from a few excellent examples among Serbian womanhood, you’d be ignored. Put it down to the caffeine and tobacco.
Polish women, on the other hand, like a good old
knees up and a dance and can do the vodka shots like anyone but they do not
laugh at drunks as the Russians often did when I was in St Petersburg.
Drunkenness in a man for a Polish woman is a disgrace, which does not mean they
don’t put up with it on a longish-term basis. They share, reluctantly, very at
times, in the Russians’ romanticizing of the inebriate.
In Poland drunkenness is often dimly viewed by those
who are themselves drunk, women in particular. If they get shitfaced and are
unable to walk, woe-betide the man of theirs who is in the same condition. He
is a complete fucking loser.
Yet Russian women would revel in your mutual
collapse of morals, in my time there. And they could be far more pornographic
than me. That was a revelation. Woman more predatory than men. I loved it but
sometimes found it overwhelming. I couldn’t match the eager passion because of
my own limitations. It’s called being a ‘Westerner’.
Sometimes they would even call you when on occasion
you had forgotten who they were. The dringing of a dilapidated landline phone,
when at three in the afternoon you were recovering from an extraordinarily
egotistical hangover would rankle. I was getting stupidly snippy with a Goddess
at the other end of the line.
Women in the Eastern European countries I have lived
in are in general very warm, down-to-earth and a lot of very good fun, but
within each resides a princess wanting his prince, no matter how impossible
this will be to achieve. But there is not a man on earth who could match any of
them. And why try to?
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